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[26 Mar 2005|06:35am]
sorry live journal i forgot about you.lets see, i just got back from grand cayman and jamaica, it was alot of fun. ive met so many people in the last couple of months, they have pretty much became my life. i was looking at my old entries and how i use to be, i know we all make mistakes but it's embrassing, i dont even cuss anymore. i am so glad god is back in my life, you dont even know.. i dont even know why i was away from him for so long..i hope im back to stay. From now on i want everything that i do to be in his name. I am at ashley's right now, she is sleeping so i figured i would write a story on this thing. last night was fun, sarah came over to ashleys and we played dress up and took pictures hah. yesterday we drove to brandon to see steven and david, love them... but only stayed for a little bit. yes, marianne is still my best friend/ sister/ everything.. let me tell you 6 days without her, i was a mess. i barely hang out witha anyone from wharton anymore. i fell so blessed to have met these people from everywhere, they are all amazing. more later? pinky promise. xo
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[20 Jan 2005|04:31pm]
Im back in credit recovery. Thank you jesus for the art of making yourself cry.
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[18 Jan 2005|04:47pm]
i felt like shit today in drivers ed so i came home and slept RIGHT THROUGH credit recovery and that was my last day to miss and now i am kicked out... ph please spoil me with another tid bit of bad news.. DANNGGITT. This is when i go and eat myself to death, food is always the answer.
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[10 Jan 2005|02:06pm]
I spent my weekend with Chance, lets just say i want to spend every weekend with that kid.
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[06 Jan 2005|06:36pm]
Just another normal day. School, Tanning bed. I am really excited about tomorrow. Lost is playing tomorrow night and me & Chance are going to see it. I cant wait to see him.. its been a year & even then we wernt really friends. i dont know, i pray something good comes out of this. Then on Sat i think we are going to the beach with people. It shall be amazing. I made a killer skirt today one of my best creations.. i might wear it tomorrow night, maybe not.. its kinda short and i dont want to look like a slut. Marr's mom invited me to this meeting about abortion like a pro-life meeting tonight.. so i guess im gonna go with my mom, it starts in 15 min so i should go xo <3 (i will update later)
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[04 Jan 2005|06:06pm]
[ mood | determined ]

First day back to school really breaks my heart. Acually it wasnt so bad, i am in photo 1 which ive wanted to take forever & i cant wait to start taking pictures and i already have some exciting ideas. I thought of something yesterday, i was in the tanning bed and i look down and dangling on my wrist is a livestrong bracelet, so im supporting lance's cancer program while i am laying in a cancer bed? i feel bad, some people are adicted to heroin, for me.. planet beach. I found a way that want to dye my hair.. its like brown underneath and some on top. i really need to stop caring so much about my looks and focus more on god, i wish i had the strength faith wise like some of those i envy. i have a hard time balancing it out. i know i can have time for both when its right, but for some reason i cant seem to find a reason to. When your not around godly people i guess that will happen to you, i just need a special friend. But i think i need to do this on my own, my life, my choices. There is so much to be learned and i cant wait to start. i will write later once i clear my head. <3

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[03 Jan 2005|01:30am]
happy new year. Jake and I have been over for a good month now,damn drugs. im in a hole, please dig me out.
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[28 Nov 2004|11:20am]
yeah ok .. its been about 23745732 years since i last updated. well alot has been going on since then and i think that i can sum it up in one word.. JAKE.
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[23 Sep 2004|07:34pm]
def had the best birthday ever. thanks everyone. im going to the spa all day on sat for my birthday present and a car in two weeks. homecoming is comming! ahh! im going with gabe :) and going in a limo with some of my favorite people in the world. now dress shopping, shoe shopping, saving money and getting tan is my goal for the next couple of weeks. this weekend should be awesome. i love everyone! xo -Me
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[20 Sep 2004|06:21pm]
"you have my heart on a string."
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[18 Sep 2004|07:49pm]
i wish i could just come out and tell you everything without worrying. it will never be my turn, ever. im so confused about what you are trying to tell me, please dont hide anything. last night started good then i ended up throwing up all night, and you think i would learn the 1st time. oh well, you live once. i have so much to say but i dont know how to put things without getting myself introuble and you prolly dont care anyways. im too tired to go out tonight. on that note, nap time. <3 URGH
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not bored, i swear [17 Sep 2004|04:55pm]
[x] stolen something?
[x] lied to your lover?
[x] lied to your friends?
[x] kissed the same sex?
[ ] cheated on your lover?
[ ] been in a fist fight?
[x] had a crush online?
[ ] did anything sexual in public?
[x] gotten drunk?
[x] smoked pot?
[ ] bought an illegal drug?
[ ] got it up the butt?
[ ] been in love?
[ ] made yourself throw up on purpose?
[x] had someone tell you they like you and not show it?
[x] have someone tell you they love you and prove themself wrong?
[maybe] backstabbed a friend?
[x] had a friend backstab you?
[x] liked someone just for looks?
[x] liked someone just for personality?
[x] jumped and screamed through a scary movie?
[ ] pee'd on yourself?
[x] been in the principal's office?
[x] laughed so hard you pissed yourself?
[x] thrown up infront of people?
[ ] threw up on someone?
[x] spilled a drink at a restaurant?
[ ] downloaded porn?
[x] looked through a porn magazine?
[x] read sex tips in fashion magazines?
[ ] shot up heroin?
[ ] snorted coke?
[only for PMS ha] taken pills?
[ ] regreted any of it?
[x] liked someone who wasn't single?
[ ] kissed someone who wasn't single?
[x] liked your friend's mate?
[x] been to a psycologist?
[x] been to a dermatologist?
[ ] had a blood test?
[x] had an infection?
[x] had the flu?
[ ] broken a bone?
[ ] sprained a muscle?
[x] lied to your parents?
[x] snuck out at night?
[been snuck in ] snuck someone in at night?
[ ] got caught?
[x] been to a concert?
[ ] been to a club underage?
[x] been obsessed with someone?
[ ] had someone become obsessed over you?
[x] questioned your faith?
[ever had an orgy?
[ ] ever had an orgasm?
[ ] ever cut yourself?
[x] cried alone?
[x] cried on someone's shoulders?
[ ] tried commiting suicide?
[ ] thought about commiting suicide?
[ ] burned yourself purposly?
[x] been to a church?
[x] said a prayer?
[x] been angry at God?
[x] felt depressed?
[x] felt used?
[x] been out of state?
[ ] to Europe?
[ ] out of the country?
[x] been to an island?
[ ] been beaten by your parents?
[x] had someone very close to you die?
[x] had someone you know die?
[ ] got hit with a bottle over the head?
[almost] been taken advantage of in any way when you were drunk?
[x] had your boyfriend/girlfriend yell and or embaress you in public?
[x] been slapped by the oposite sex?
[x] been punched by the oposite sex?
[x] hit the oposite sex?
[ ] killed someone?
[x] ever eaten pumpkin pie?
[x] celebrated halloween?
[x] not celebrated halloween?
[x] had your heart broken?
[ ] had someone from the opposite sex become infatuated with you?
[ ] been fisted?
[ ] had a suprise party?
[ ] got a birthday gift from a boyfriend/girlfriend?
[x] got a birthday gift from a friend?
[x] talked about sex with the oposite sex?
[x] talked about sex with the same sex?
[x] believe in pre marital sex?
[ ] do not- believe in pre marital sex?
[x] want to get married?
[x] want to have kids?
[x] want to get drunk right now?
[ ] want to smoke pot right now?
[x] want to get wasted right now?
[x] wanted to model?
[ ] wanted to be a lawyer?
[ ] wanted to be a doctor?
[ ] wanted to be an actor?
[ ] wanted to be a business owner?
[x] wanted to be a photographer?
[ ] had a craving for sushi?
[x] had a craving for chocolate?
[ ] starved yourself?
[ ] stopped eating, unintentionally?
[ ] ate a worm?
[ ] swallowed a fly?
[x] held hands with your friend of the same sex in public?
[x] held hands with a friend in general?
[x] lead someone on, purposely?
[x] been lead on?
[x] used someone?
[x] truly hated someone?
[x] disliked someone?
[x] been a hypocrite to someone?
[x] been friends with hypocrites?
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[15 Sep 2004|07:24am]
daddy fixed the computer. me and ashley forgot to do our writing project and it was due yesterday, fuck. so im missing 1st period to stay home and do some of it. No one even noticed that i am blonde again, thanks. i guess its because i showed up everyday with a different color that they were use to it? i babysat the other day and spent all my money on nail polish but i got this killer pinkish redish orangish color <3 i really dont feel like going to school today, i wish my mom was cool and would let me just hang out with her all day. im really in a creative mood, i want to go get fabric and make some cool skirts, im sick of my clothes. its def time to go shopping. sweet sixteen is a week from today, i have a feeling there is going to be nothing sweet about it at all. urgh i wish i could have a huge party and get a nice car with a big red bow on it , like in the movies. no fair. ok well i have to finish my project and take a shower. comment or something, bye.
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[11 Sep 2004|02:09pm]
did not get to go to the spot to meet this mystery boy :(
stayed home watched tv all night, went to bed at like 11.
i woke up this morning at 8!!! to my sister screaming at the top of her lungs, brat. i attempted to clean my room but not really. babysit tonight until 10, then i dont know i will prolly go out and meet up with some people. ive been thinking about boys alot lately and how i want a boyfriend but im picky so i wont settle for just anyone, i see everyone in a relationship around me and wonder when it's my turn? homecoming is comming up, i want a date this year but it's too soon to like ask anyone or get asked because alot can happen from now until 0ct.15th. we will see. i think im going shopping with katie tomorrow, feel free to join us. <3
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[10 Sep 2004|08:20pm]
i hate you.
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[09 Sep 2004|07:56pm]
ive been thinking
i wish i could just write write write my feelings in my livejournal, and not have to think about what how people would respond. 43328964 emotions are running thru me, and i just have every one of them bottled up inside of me. i want that friend to spill everything to and them not judge you, but everyone turns into a backstabber sooner or later right? "hey marr does it look like im wearing a shirt thats says SCREW ME OVER PLEASE!..seriously" ha i love you marianne, last weekend was amazing. WOW SORRY BOUT CHA! heh. im talking to max and he is distracting me, so i cant think of anything else to write, do i have ADD? yup i def think so. <3
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[05 Sep 2004|02:43pm]
[ mood | blank ]

fucking huricane. im stuck inside all day/ night. no kalk party, no nothing. i should of went to marianne's last night or atleast this morning. mitch is smart..he woke up and left for tori's this morning, i waited until now and its hell outside. im just watching re-runs of real world san fran. last night tori came over and me mitch and her watched this scary movie, godsend or something. i had a hard time falling asleep because of it. it was good beside the ending-it sucked. i found out some shit about a certain person, im disopointed, we will see what happens.. i didnt know that people could be so imature/gay thanks for proving me wrong. im going to go sleep or something.

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[03 Sep 2004|02:41pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

just got in a big fight with my mom, she was yelling at me about how me and mitch don't do anything. of course i came back with something really mean to say and she ran off crying in the middle of me highlighting her hair. yes i don't do anything, as i highlight her hair, which in my book is doing her a favor. now she said she wont drive me anywhere. last night me and gabe met up with a bunch of people (mitch,matt,jessi,tori,bob,leslie,ali and donnie) to see napolian dynamite (sp?) for the 2nd time, then me mitch tori and gabe went to steak n shake, there was a bunch of ghetto people there i dont know what thats all about, maybe a fight? then i came home. i woke up at 8 to marianne calling me, she fell asleep at dustin's house and needed me to cover for her cause she told her mom that she fell asleep at my house and forgot to call, the only thing was that my mom didnt hang up the phone and heard the whole thing, so that didnt work. she made something else up and rose totally bought it, no grounding no nothing, that girl is the master.but now my mom thinks that i sleep at guys houses. oh well. today- hm nothing so far, i was suspose to go to marianne's but my mother wont give me a ride so i dont know. sunday= kalk party, basically everyone will just get drunk and pass out. haha if its gay i can just walk home because its like right around the corner. ive decided to keep my hair brown, well for now. no school today cause of the huricane,awesome i know. 4 day weekends are always fun. but it seems like when you have 4 days, you cant find anything to do but on 2 days you have to try to fit everything in. i need a job, im broke and i owe gabe 14$. yikes. well im gonna go see if i can get a ride to marrs. select start show was canceled, i was hoping i would be able to see this cool kid max sometime, we will see. ok im out. <3

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[01 Sep 2004|05:41pm]
[ mood | groggy ]

dying your hair brown will not make you less blonde at heart <3
maybe i should post pictures of my new do? maybe i should get a fucking job, save 500$ and buy a digital camera, this would be nice.

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[30 Aug 2004|09:11pm]
[ mood | rushed ]

bad day..
felt sick.
i got a new belt for 3$, wow i am god.
just a hello.

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